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Except for some variation in basic customs, Christians of kerala
has wholeheartedly assimilated themselves into the fabric of Kerala
society. But, still, some differences persist in the wedding rituals and
they are worth exploring.
Like in other religions, here too the parents select prospective
partners. After extensive background checks, including financial and
social standing, and several meetings later, between the parents of bride
and groom, the actual players get to encounter each other.
Once things are endorsed, they have to notify their individual
churches to procure sanction. Once the sanction is granted, they have to
undergo a marriage preparation course conducted by the church.
After that, at a day of their convenience (except on
Fridays), they have to present themselves before the church officer
for "manasammatham" (engagement), accompanied by friends and
relatives. A prayer will be held before engagement ceremony and afterwards
the vicar gives the blessing. Rings can be swapped after this, but it is
not there in the general itinerary.
Two male persons from both the parties have to stand witness for
this ceremony. This will be recorded in the church register.
After this for the next 3 successive Sundays, while the church is
in congregation, this engagement will be announced. This is to inform
others and to give them a chance to file objection, if they have any.
Alternatively this information will be displayed at the church notice
board.
If
some objections are noticed, church will conduct an inquiry regarding this
and proper actions would be taken. There is no bar on breaking the
engagement.
The parents of the bride and groom, after mutual consultations, fix
a date for the marriage. Normally the wedding is held at the diocese of
the groom.
On the appointed day, both the bride and groom, along
with their relatives and friends, will reach the marriage place before the
appointed time. At the given time, both the groom and bride will enter the
church, escorted by relatives and friends, and proceed towards the altar.
Some of the customs of traditional kerala wedding,
"thalikettu" - the process of tying the sacred thread around bride's
neck, giving "mantrakodi"- the wedding sari, are incorporated into
the Christian wedding.
As
soon as the vicar enters the altar, the process of marriage (divyabali)
begins. Reciting of those portions of bible which are relevant to the
marriage function will be done by the vicar as well as the congregation,
accompanied by music. When this function reaches its midpoint the vicar
asks the groom to tie the nuptial knot, followed by the presentation of
dress.
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